Two Evil Eyes

1990, US/Italy, Directed by George A Romero, Dario Argento
Colour, Running Time: 120 minutes
Review Source: Satellite Broadcast; Video: 1.78:1, Audio: Stereo

When it was announced back in the late eighties that George Romero and Dario Argento - who had previously collaborated to legendary effect on Dawn of the Dead - were to re-unite in the production of a horror based on the tales of Edgar Allan Poe, fans were understandably excited.  Neither were considered particularly to be in decline at that point.  Most recently Romero had bestowed the world with the wonderful Day of the Dead - okay, not well received upon initial release it would later go on to be appreciated and understood as a great piece of cinema by many - and the pretty decent Monkey Shines, a fairly original and engaging take on the man-vs-animal sub genre.  Meanwhile Argento had experimented with crossing the supernatural with his forte, the giallo, to materialise with some success Phenomena, soon drifting back into stylish giallo territory for Opera.  Not only that but the guys were bringing along special effects master Tom Savini (who'd worked on the last couple of Dead films at that point, amongst many other fine examples of the genre).  What the hell could go wrong?  Well, how about almost everything?  The film was a disappointment of the highest order, but it lingered around on video for years, then DVD from the likes of Anchor Bay (and more recently Arrow, whose disc strangely split the film into two distinct options from the menu rather than allowing viewing of the movie in its intended entirety), while nowadays it's available from Blue Underground on what looks to be a well produced Blu-ray.  Years after that initial drop in enthusiasm (I caught it on video rental around '92) I'd considered buying it a few times, thinking that it couldn't have been as boring as I originally remembered.  A recent satellite broadcast gave me the opportunity to check it out again without risking a few quid...

Comprised of two adaptations of Poe stories, Romero takes on the first - 'The Facts in the Case of Mr Valdemar', about a scheming wife and her illegitimate lover who are more than a little interested in the woman's dying husband's vast fortune.  Allowing the old codger to die prematurely before the legal issues have been ironed out they cart the body down into the (grim) cellar where a handy chest freezer becomes the poor guy's home for the next few days.  What they don't expect is to hear his whining voice haunting them from beyond the grave, followed by his eventual lumbering awakening as his corpse is apparently controlled by dark spirits in a quest for vengeance.  This opening story, stretching out its bareness to around an hour, is seat-fidgetingly boring.  The cast, crew, and eventual editor (Pasquale Buba, who surprisingly had previously edited the much more efficient Day of the Dead) appear to be in a trance-like state, and I hate to say but Romero's direction exhibits none of the drive that had previously been evident in virtually everything from Night of the Living Dead onwards.  None of the characters are likable, which doesn't help the maintenance of viewer consciousness, and even a handful of superior gore effects from Savini cannot save this piece.  The near ubiquitous scoring becomes infuriating, implemented in a distinctly unprofessional manner, and the whole thing smells like a bad TV movie.  An increase in pace, sparing use of a score composed by someone else, along with a substantial reduction in running time could have resulted in an improved film all round.

The second story is based (again, loosely) on 'The Black Cat', and directed with more flair by king of the roving camera, Argento.  A flamboyant artist is repeatedly bugged by the black cat that his partner has let into their apartment - no matter what he does he can't get rid of the persistent moggie.  Following the butchering of his partner the artist walls her into a concealed section of their home, but getting away with murder will be cast under the shadow of a meddling cat... The centre performance by Harvey Keitel is suitably angry, and pushes this one a bit closer to 'entertainment' than Romero's segment ever got.  Argento also displays a touch of style here and there (e.g. the pendulum perspective in the opening minutes), reminding us of the presence of an auteur.  Aside from similar issues with the music and to a lesser extent the overall pace, the main problem is probably caused by the first story - by the time the second one kicks off the viewer is already bored to hell and not especially interested in anything that the screen might throw at them next.  I get the impression that each director was granted an hour time slot and they possibly had to fill it regardless, and with threadbare materials this was always going to result in a slow lumbering blob of a film.  The fact that neither director has managed to put out much worth a damn since Two Evil Eyes also suggests that both had in fact begun their decline into mediocrity around this point, a factor entirely symbolised by the effect (or lack thereof) of this film.  I'm glad I saved my money.

The Crazies

2010, US, Directed by Breck Eisner
Colour, Running Time: 101 minutes
Review Source: Blu-ray, Region B, Momentum; Image: 2.39:1 1080p 24fps, Audio: LPCM 5.1

It’s certainly easy to become cynical when perusing what’s worth expiring some time with in modern film-making these days, particularly when most of what's being ejected from the ar*e of Hollywood tends to be a remake of something else generally more worthwhile, and just about everybody who’s into movies seems to be bored to death with the whole remake bandwagon. It’s also easy to become cynical about one of the iconic horror directors to have shaped the genre quite a few of us still love: George Romero. Not only does he seem unable to direct anything worth a rotting toenail anymore, but anything that he did direct that was any good seems to have been remade by someone else, generally with fine results (conveniently disregarding the Day of the Dead wastrel as well as the ‘3D’ attempt to update Night…) - Dawn of the Dead was very impressive, Night of the Living Dead (1990) wasn’t actually a bad movie, in fact quite enjoyable (directed by Tom Savini, it seems to have been all but forgotten about), and then there is The Crazies, which surprised me by not only providing a suitably good time, but actually managing to, on a proverbial level, drag me to the edge of my seat at several points. So this suggests that people remaking Romero movies are mostly doing a better job than he is directing his own films nowadays…

Romero’s version of The Crazies was a very low budget early seventies affair, shot on 16mm with not too much in way of resources to draw upon (compared to ‘big‘ movies). It stubbornly refused to be held back by these limitations, however, and proved to be a kinetic, exciting, smartly scripted and acted offering that also presented a frightening concept as a bonus: a military viral weapon is accidentally unleashed into the water system of a small town, forcing them to cordon off the perimeter as its denizens fall prey to a disease that causes death or homicidal insanity. The aggressive tactics of the army to contain the outbreak were pretty scary, and Romero displayed the raw talent for presenting spiralling chaos in the wake of an uncontrollable nightmare that would take full blossom in the delectable Dawn of the Dead a few years later. The main idea in the remake is the same, but this one spends a lot less time focussing on militaristic interaction and debating of moral dilemmas (one of the original’s strengths), and more time trailing a small group of people attempting to survive a microcosmic apocalypse. In this sense it’s actually closer in feel to Dawn…, along with several other films I love for similar reasons, for example Zombie Creeping Flesh and Nightmare City. There is also some contemporary influence from 28 Weeks Later in the containment camps set up by the army. As the protagonists are pulled into the nightmare they eventually manage to escape to the road in a desperate attempt to head for the next town. Along the way there are several crossings with either the army or the wandering mad (now, unsurprisingly in the wake of what‘s a bit too popular these days, actually resembling running corpses more so than just crazy people). There are some clichés that bring things down a notch, for example the now extremely predictable scenario whereby an assailant is about to knock off one of the main characters when suddenly one of the heroes or heroines blows away the threat from behind - almost unforgivably this happens not once but twice (the second time cheekily even upping the 'ridiculous' factor, to my disdain). In addition I felt there are issues with the nature of the biologically induced insanity adopted for the ’crazies’ themselves - there are points when I feel it’s a little too contrived in its attempt to create homicidal shock moments. But on the whole there are enough positive factors to fully outweigh any problems.

The film is very adeptly acted out and the set pieces are for the most part exceptionally well handled by the director of Sahara. One area of note here is the prolonged car wash sequence, which has its funny moments, but mostly is very damn frightening and with a great payoff too. Radha Mitchell, in ‘danger’ of getting herself a Scream Queen tag with the likes of Pitch Black, Silent Hill, the superbly frightening Rogue and this movie under her belt, is as always a welcome and attractive presence throughout, but equally welcome is her character’s husband and survival partner Timothy Olyphant (after delivering a brilliant performance in the previous year's A Perfect Getaway), who seems really suited to this role and actually a likeable protagonist (too many main characters nowadays just seem to irritate the viewer into wishing them serious harm - surely not intentional!?). I also noted that the film had a fantastic appearance, combining naturalistic colours with a brightness that gave it an overall vibrancy. Cinematographer Maxime Alexandre has previously also bestowed the likes of the Hills Have Eyes (remake!) and Haute Tension (Switchblade Romance) with very bold looks. The score itself is persistently brooding with periodic arousal into a bouncier, more dynamic rhythm when onscreen action requires it - again I think that this works very much in the film’s favour. Finally, I rather liked the story’s closing few minutes too - a good ending in my opinion is something that makes or breaks the viewer’s desire to revisit a film.  So, after having enjoyed 85% or more of what I’d witnessed it momentarily crossed my mind that if remakes can at least occasionally result in a gratifying couple of hours then perhaps the phenomenon isn’t such a terrible curse?

Originally seeing this at the cinema prompted me to pick up the Blu-ray Disc - the representation is quite wonderful, highly detailed and colourful with a loud, aggressive uncompressed audio track.  Quite a few extras pad out the disc, one of which had me squirming a little being the 'back-slapping' article on George Romero.  Obviously some of this is justified given his sixties to eighties output, but judging by the fact that Romero was executive producer on this remake, the cynical me can't help but feel that this piece is self'plugging propaganda rather than a worthy documentary addition to a decent Blu-ray.  Anyway, whether you're a fan of Romero's original film or not, The Crazies 2010 is not a bad (or expensive) addition to your collection despite a handful of obvious shortcomings.

Land of the Dead

2005, US, Directed by George A Romero
Colour, Running Time: 93 minutes
Review Source: DVD, R2, Universal; Video: Anamorphic 2.35:1, Audio: DD 5.1

In the aftermath of an apocalyptic worldwide rising of the dead, groups of human survivors have taken to walling themselves into cities where they’re protected from the ravenous nature of hungry corpses whilst approximating some semblance of a normal life. One such city, dubbed Fiddler’s Green, is considered a desirable residential location but controlled by despotic leader Kaufman - with significant reward to himself he’s manufactured a place where privileged life continues in a materialistic fashion similar to how one might have lived before the change. Having served Kaufman for some time, the rough and ready Cholo believes that his time has come to relinquish the life-threatening daily routine of retrieving supplies from outside the city’s perimeter, putting forward his argument for moving into his own place within the city. Kaufman is not so obliging and basically rejects Cholo’s request for a better life, thus bent on mass destruction Cholo steals a heavily armed truck labelled Dead Reckoning with the intention of blowing Kaufman out of his pristine tower of protection if a sum of several million dollars is not paid up. Kaufman hires good boy Riley to retrieve the truck and put Cholo out of the picture - not especially concerned about Kaufman’s welfare Riley agrees on condition that he can take his friends with a vehicle plus some weapons, and get out of the place for good, heading north where there is less to cause his stress levels to fluctuate. Making use of his friends and a small team of soldiers Riley heads out to reacquire Dead Reckoning thereby eliminating the threat of a missile attack on the more innocent inhabitants of the city. Meanwhile it seems that one of the rotting dead is beginning to think in a constructive fashion, proceeding to lead an army of corpses to attempt infiltration of Fiddler’s Green.

Romero’s fourth film in his long running ‘Dead’ series caused great anticipation for me at the time - the previous entry, Day of the Dead, had been completed twenty years earlier and whilst initially a source of disappointment for many (not helped by the fact that Romero’s ambitions were famously scaled down by lack of financial backing) the film itself eventually became hugely appreciated by some, including myself (though there are still detractors to this day). Day… is one of my favourites of the genre (along with Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead of course) for many reasons that can happily be saved for another review on a rainy day. Suffice to say I could barely wait when Land of the Dead was green-lit. The film really has everything going for it: amazingly slick special effects (and extremely gory they are in places), sharp cinematography, a budget that exceeds that of all preceding films in the series combined (i.e. $15 million as opposed to around $5.1 million), some decent actors to choose from, a twenty year gestation period, etc. Admittedly one might lament the absence of Tom Savini (in a special effects capacity at least - he does appear in a cheeky onscreen cameo), but I don’t think anybody can realistically complain about the quality of make-up and bloodshed on display here. There’s even a connection to Dawn…’s crew in the employment of Asia Argento’s thespian services (her dad, Dario, helped produce, finance and distribute the 1978 hit). However, there are issues that continue to bug me despite giving the film several viewings over several years. First but not really foremost, the score is utterly generic, with nothing to distinguish it from any other reasonable budget Hollywood movie out there. Okay, Night… was scored with stock music but it was generally memorable and appropriately selected stock music; Dawn… had the might of Goblin behind it to create a soundtrack like nothing before or since, and I even like the less distinctive but highly catchy music created for Day…, a score that perceptively alternates between careful optimism and melancholic hopelessness. Land…‘s composer team of Johnny Klimek and Reinhold Heil provide little outside of the mundane. The actors themselves do their job but Romero is unable to draw out anything special - John Leguizamo, so frightening under Brian De Palma’s control in Carlito’s Way, is simply functional here, whereas main man Simon Baker as Riley is a pretty boy with no sense of urgency. Even Dennis Hopper rarely rises above apathy as Kaufman. I always felt Romero worked very well with unknown actors from the sixties through to the eighties, eliciting gripping performances on occasions, but perhaps that innate talent has evaporated through age or lack of practice? The script is peppered with unappealing smart-alecky comments from various quarters, and evident almost as a prerequisite is the staple social/political commentary that has earned Romero some acknowledgement from mainstream movie reviewers over the years, here summarising tired ideas on class divides and terrorism in a rather heavy handed manner.

As a development from Bub (Day…) the creatures here are beginning to display signs of almost evolving in their ability to communicate and employ tools for various purposes. Nice idea (and very well executed in Day…) but the regular paroxysmal cries of 'Big Daddy' in Land… start to get on the nerves a little bit. To be honest the characters littered throughout this film are not that far from plain boring, Riley‘s irritating disfigured winger included. On to more positive notes, as the army of dead crosses the river on their vengeful journey to the city there’s quite a nifty scene where they all emerge silently from the waters, although even this is a regurgitated idea from Zombie Creeping Flesh (itself a rip-off of Dawn of the Dead ironically) or even Carnival of Souls long before it. The climactic attack on Fiddler’s Green is one of the few events in the film to remotely drag the viewer out of their apathetic state, with plenty of gore and a little action, though it’s clear by this point Romero’s edge and cinematic aggression have all but gone and a once great name in the genre is now merely the producer of mediocre (albeit competent) material. Aside from some viewers out there really digging this film, I just can’t get into it and feel disappointed every time I feel pity enough to give it another go.

The theatrical version was available on DVD in the US along with an unrated cut featuring a bit more gore plus one or two extra scenes. This latter version made it to UK shores with the good old ‘Director’s Cut’ slogan across the cover - I find it strange that such a term is so frequently used these days as the directors that are being referred to rarely actually edit their films. Regardless, anyone wanting to see the film may as well go for the harder version. It’s also available on an improved Blu-ray Disc. My absence of pleasure watching Land of the Dead has resulted in the fact that it took me a long time to bother getting around to its follow-up of sorts, Diary of the Dead. Romero has also since put the finishing touches on yet another remarkably boring sequel (previously known under the superior title of Island of the Dead, it was eventually retitled Survival of the Dead). As much as I adore the first three films in the series I definitely think it’s time for the man to hang up his oversized specs.

Survival of the Dead

2009, US/Canada, Directed by George A Romero
Colour, Running Time: 90 minutes
Review Source: Blu-ray, Region B, Optimum; Video: 2.39:1 1080p 24fps, Audio: DTS HD MA

Several days after the dead begin to walk a long running feud on a secluded island results in stubborn rogue Seamus being banished because of his relentless, apathetic drive to despatch all of the island’s wandering corpses, despite objections from family members who refuse to accept that their loved ones are ‘gone’. A few weeks later, back on the mainland, a military man (Alan Van Sprang, playing the same character as that in Diary of the Dead) and his small team of devotees go AWOL and decide the only way to escape the ensuing mayhem is to find an island which they can claim for themselves. Heading out to the harbour after seeing an internet broadcast by Seamus they run into a virtual ambush that sees them the victors. Somehow Seamus survives the body count and manages to beguile and tag along with the team of soldiers as they head out to Seamus’ home island by ferry. There they run head-on back into the same feud that Seamus is still effectively integral to, now somewhat mutated by the fact that half of the populace are currently dead and walking around in a threatening manner…

For those not in the know, this is Romero’s sixth official zombie movie, following fairly hot on the heals of Diary of the Dead (and paying cool homage to that movie at one point), which itself trailed the fairly popular Land of the Dead. Despite this being a Romero production, written and directed by the man who gave us several genuine classics decades ago, I find this very difficult to consider as part of the official ‘Dead’ series, and the same goes for its aforementioned predecessors too. Almost in similar fashion to how Star Wars fans think of George Lucas’s prequels, these last three films of Romero’s are just not in the same class as the originals (which I only watched about a week ago, for approximately the eleventh time over the years). Land of the Dead I really wanted to like at the time, and gave it the benefit of the doubt by watching it several times over the coming years thinking that perhaps mine was a premature reaction akin to that which Day of the Dead received from a large portion of the fan base twenty years before. I finally gave up trying to like it, and I’m sorry to say I’m not even going to give Survival… the same opportunity. The script is of comparable quality to Land of the Dead (i.e. functional but out of touch and displaying the need to point everything out to a patronised audience) and Romero has clearly lost his feel for extracting superb performances from relatively unknown actors. This newer film is mundane in almost every way - it doesn’t look better than much else at the moment, there are very few original ideas in here, and the gore is nice but we saw all this before (and whilst I’m not a ‘CG-knocker’ like many film lovers out there, the man does appear to be utilising computer graphics for the bloody bits a bit too often - is Tom Savini not available anymore?). I came away from the film thinking, what was the point? It’s all just okay: if Romero’s series were being made for TV I could understand - Survival… gives the impression of having a storyline that’s written for such a series rather than having what should be a monumental impact. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t consider this to be a bad film in any sense, but it has no right to be filed alongside Dawn of the Dead (I’m even loathe to mention the first three masterworks in the same review) and could have been shot by any number of very average directors. Some of the poster art and Blu-ray/DVD covers for this film have been pretty cool (see above for example), but really that’s the only cool thing about this outing. Taking the lead from earlier films, there is further indication of an evolutionary aspect whereby some of the islanders have the idea that they can retrain the corpses to eat animals rather than humans - possibly suggesting that ultimately they will turn (back) into us in some form or another, and also resulting in the film’s goriest sequence. Other than that, this seed of an idea doesn’t really go anywhere useful. Romero tries to suggest he’s in touch with the times by, for example, having the youth who tags along claiming that PCs are out of date as he produces an iPod (or something of the kind) but it just doesn’t wash. Perhaps the storyline suggests that people aren’t willing to get along with their neighbours and that less than amicable situations can lead to ongoing disagreements that can eventually result in death (and beyond in this case); perhaps also Romero relies too much on his now infamous ‘social commentaries’ these days rather than simply trying to make a great film.

This very ordinary movie is matched by an even more ordinary disc from Optimum - whilst the audio and visual reproduction of this digitally shot movie is quite nice in HD, there is absolutely zilch in way of extras. A highly unusual move nowadays and the sceptic may have suspected a better release at some point down the road, a notion confirmed by the eventual release of an ‘Ultimate Undead Edition’ by Magnolia in the US - this Blu-ray features a commentary, documentary, intro by Romero, a short spin-off film, featurettes, etc. Despite that, the fairly priced Optimum disc will have to suffice until something better is announced for the UK, though I’m more disappointed by the fact that, in an age of chilling movies like Triangle, the downright disturbing Martyrs, or even the rocking remake of Dawn of the Dead, Romero’s sluggish dead-fest just doesn’t cut it.